Culture
Advice from 2U Parent-Leaders on Social Distancing with Kids
Written by Tracy Ellis on Apr 28, 2020
I put some pressure on myself when social distancing first began to find the perfect balance between being a productive 2Ute, a present team leader, having a sparkly clean house, cooking three healthy meals a day for my family, getting in some daily exercise, and making sure my kids were in a winning routine (up at 7 a.m, dressed and fed with beds made, sitting down by 9 a.m. to do schoolwork, limiting screen time, and playing educational games). My plan lasted one day before I threw my hands in the air in defeat. This was impossible!
And then I read somewhere that what we are being asked to do during social distancing is not possible. Working, parenting, housekeeping, and teaching are four different jobs that cannot be done at the same time. It's not challenging because we are doing it wrong, it's challenging because it is too much, and we should be gentle with ourselves and just do the best we can on any given day.
I chatted with some other parent-leaders in 2U’s Cape Town office and found it reassuring that everyone was finding this time as challenging as I was. Here are some of their experiences and advice for staying safe and sane while social distancing with kids.
Do what’s in front of you.
A perfect balance doesn’t exist. So whether it’s making an on-demand snack, cleaning up a spill, hopping on a Zoom call, or washing your hair, take it hour by hour if needed and prioritise what needs to be done at that moment. Lisa Ziegenhardt, Senior Director, Brand, says, “The juggle is real! I am finding social distancing quite suffocating—from endless meetings to mindless screen time, plus all the different communication platforms. And I haven't even mentioned my children yet...because I am trying to fit them in between all the other priorities. My husband and I have gained so much perspective over this time for what really counts.”
Choose connection.
Whether it’s having your little one cuddle up beside you with a book while you take a Zoom call on the couch, playing a game with your teenager instead of arguing over schoolwork, or using your daily stand up (DSU) time to do a more heartfelt check-in with your team, choosing to connect with those around you eases stress. Thelme Janse van Rensburg, SVP of People, Cape Town, says, “Find what fuels your relationships with your kids and be there for those moments 100%. It is also okay to rely on devices when you have to tear yourself away. You need to look after you too.”
Ask for help.
You can’t do it all, so don’t try to. Whether it’s a teenager in the house, a partner, your line manager, a talent business partner, or your team, let them know you have personal or professional tasks you’re just not getting to and ask for help so they can support. Mark Midgley, SVP, Finance, says, “I was so grateful recently when one of my team members told me how much they were struggling, how they felt overwhelmed. I would never have guessed it if they hadn't told me! We don't need to wear our game faces all day in times like this. We should be honest and open with our managers so that we can align together on fair expectations.”
Stay grateful.
Whilst these times are challenging, they are an opportunity to appreciate some of the things we once took for granted, like teachers, freedom of movement, our domestic helpers, and even office space. Try and keep some perspective on your personal values during this time, and remind each other that this will pass. Karen Worsley, Senior Director, IT Infrastructure & Helpdesk, says, “We try and remember to laugh and we talk about the things we want to do when we're back outside. We also remind each other how lucky we actually are.”
Set a relaxed routine.
This is not the time for strict hourly military schedules. Think guidelines over rules. Build a relaxed routine around the most important family basics, such as work time, mealtime, chore time, and free time and then don’t forget to incorporate fun and play wherever possible. Ryan O’ Mahoney, Managing Director, Short Courses, says, “We schedule lunchtime together, and we call it ‘raas tyd’ (noisy time). There’s lots of music, dancing, and jumping around. We get the kids to help—they love helping—by giving them daily jobs and chores, like watering the plants, making beds, etc.”
Lower your expectations.
Accept that not everything will get done in one day. Choose one or two priorities for the day and let go of perfectionist syndrome. Done is better than perfect when you are juggling multiple responsibilities. Steve van der Westhuisen, VP, Product Marketing, says, “I have a one-year-old and a two-year-old. The approach our family is taking in this time is to survive (joking, but also not joking!). We’re not being too hard on ourselves and I’ve accepted that my current work situation is not ideal. My kids have even joined me for a few meetings!”
Prioritise health.
Both your mental and physical health need to be prioritised in times of stress. Take good care of yourself so that you can take care of your family during this time. Set realistic health and wellness goals and remember to keep some balance. Ann-Mari Höfinger, Head, Product Strategy & Research, says, “We are looking after ourselves by working out at home but also celebrating the completion of each day with a glass of wine!”
Leave room for the unexpected.
Accept that things will not always go as planned. Sammy-Jane Every, VP, Creative Studios, says, “My 6-year-old son hasn't worn pants for the last two weeks. Pants of any description. I was reminded of this when he popped up in the middle of a video call and I frantically waved my arms around to block any PG-13 footage. There is no normal. It is all just a bit weirder and stranger. And I quickly learned that spending my energy trying to control this was an ill use of resources.”
Get professional support.
“I miss my village support,” says Nazley Brooks, VP, Student Engagement. “Being a teacher, cook, and cleaner and working full time in the same space is a mental and emotional challenge.” At 2U, we offer an Employee Assistance Program for our employees to use when they're feeling overwhelmed and need to talk to a counselor or mental health professional.
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